I've been MIA for a bit due to a surgery I had a few weeks back, and I am still recovering from it. After the C-section, and then this, my body is having a hard time bouncing back. In effect, I feel very... lackluster lately.
This feeling has been nagging me for a while now. I feel so emotionally, physically, and even spiritually drained. Work has been more demanding, and of course, having an infant at home takes up a LOT of time and energy. Add housechores to the mix, and you have one tired person right here. Trying to wear all the hats I need to (mother, wife, friend, employee, maid?, etc...) and at times, I just want to hide in a dark corner and cry. I've always prided myself on being a strong and independent person, but now, more than ever, I need support. I feel a bit lost. And unappreciated in a lot of ways.
What really gets me through not so good days is my son. Now, when I am having a bad day, when I am so sore and tired from everything I do, I think about him. I think about his antics and gurgles. I focus on the fact that he is healthy and not wanting for anything. Most of all, I remind myself that while I feel I am falling short on all the other things in my life-- I am not failing at the most important job of all, and that is being a Mother. No matter how stressful a deadline is, or how much people or things annoy me sometimes, I think of his smile. And that makes me smile as well, and remember that I have been blessed with the greatest gift of all.
|Eidan's smile makes everything better!|